F.F.D

F.F.D stands for Feeling Freaking Disappointed. I wanna it to be stand for Freaking Fucking Disappointed, but it is just too rude to be say by some goody goody guy like me (*ahem, ahem*) , so I will just go for the Feeling Freaking Disappointed.

I seriously mean it. I am so disappointed la. Originally want to post the entry about another event that happened in UTP first(hmm, suspense....), but today, I am so disappointed. Okay, it's yesterday liao, since it has passed 12am. So yesterday, it's the test for the Engineering Maths. Did it so badly till it is worse than the buildings built under Sami Vellu.




The test is seriously a tough one. I mean the mistakes made by most people in this test will not be the Stupid-Me-Why-So-Careless mistakes, because they are the Shit-Why-I-Don't-Know-How-To-Do-This-One mistakes. I doubt that no one will say it is a piece of cake, maybe a few geniuses will, but later they will sure kena beaten up by a few masked guys(or girls perhaps).

Anyway, this is not the part I feel disappointed. Most people have their mistakes made, more or less in the same questions. So, they just cancel each other out and the overall marks will be quite the same as well. But, stupid me, I didn't only make the mistakes other people made, I also made mistakes in some questions people got it correct. Shit liao lah!! Plus, the marks allocated damn uneven, it can have like 10 marks in one question, I mean 10 marks in the part (a) of one question. WTF, crazy one lah, the lecturers, give so many marks just for one question. Don't they be a little bit more considerate about us, students?? *Sob, sob*

Man, when I faced the question, I was like........, so dumbfounded.

Pretty sure my face looked like this that time.




Then, when I tried on the questions, I got stuck almost everywhere. And it almost got to a point where I nearly screamed out this in the examination hall/main hall.....




And when I found out I made some stupid, silly mistakes which didn't made by other people, I was like, "Arghh, God!!! WTF have I just done??"




Ish Ish....Man, I don't know lah. They say the final exam is way more harder than the tests questions. So?? Means I die liao lo. Test also do until so bad already, what is gonna happen in my final exam leh? No eyes to see liao......

Maybe this time I screwed up my E. Maths test is because of my effort is not enough lah. See, other people always hide in their room to study while me, always go out play lepak with friends, just do some last minute study before test nia. Or, maybe I really sucks at maths, cuz' I am the weakest in Mathematics among my family members. Who knows it is a curse or something, that I cannot score in Maths forever in my life? Who knows one strain of brain cell which controls my Maths skills, is missing in my brain? Maybe it is the time that is not right for me to take tests? Who knows the date is not ngam for me? Who knows it is an unlucky day for me?

What now? Nobody to blame already, go and blame the DATE pula.....


ARGHH!!!!

Disappointed lah.......

So disappointed that I feel no strength in my legs already........




So damn disappointed that I don't even care I got my clothes on or not already......




So freaking damn disappointed that I just wanna lay on the floor and cry to God......




So, FXXXING freaking damn disappointed that I even wanna just bang my head to a wall body
and let myself bleed to death....




ARGHH!!!!

R.I.P

Got a phone call from mother at around 9pm. I was playing Counter Strike that time. I knew my mother would surely asked her typical question: "what are you doing now?" And I can’t stand telling mother that I am studying when I was actually playing CS, in front of my roommate who was actually studying. He would surely laugh until he dropped his jaws if he listened to that.

So I went out of the room to take the call. Three days mother didn’t call me already. So, this call from home is kind of expected. I thought it was just an ordinary phone call from my mother. Turns out it is not ordinary at all. Mother brought me a sad news. My ‘Ah Kim’ had just passed away in the morning when at that time I guess I was still in my bed, reluctant to get up to attend the physic lecture.

‘Ah Kim’ is my mother’s brother’s wife. In short, she is actually my aunt. Mother taught me to call her Ah Kim since I was a small little kiddo when I was babysat by Ah Kim. So, besides of being my aunt, she was also my childhood babysitter, kind of like my second mother. This makes me quite close to her.

Ah Kim’s family is not that financially good. She had done a lot of different jobs before, ranging from babysitting children in her neighborhood to selling nasi lemak. Their total income for their family is about RM2000 per month made from my uncle who is working at KL and my cousin brother who got to go to work after he finished his Form5. After Ah Kim got sick, my cousin sister has to abandon her job in KL as well to come back and take care of Ah Kim. So, RM2000 to feed 3 people and 1 patient.

What my Ah Kim got was intestinal cancer. The malignant tumor was found when she went for X-ray for about 2 years ago when she started to feel pain in her stomach. Too bad for her, she got some heart problems due to over-working during her early age when her two children were still schooling and couldn’t help to find money to support the family. So, because of her heart problems, the elders in my family decided to let her try on traditional medicine, which includes eating pills made of herbs, doing Qi-gong, drinking soups that people claims that can cure cancer and so on. This lasted for a few months. The traditional medicine thing isn’t cheap. Ah Kim’s family couldn’t support it continuously. Besides, my mother and my the other aunt (that aunt who brought me go boat parachuting in Penang) couldn’t keep on helping Ah Kim to pay for the expensive bills on the traditional medicine. Plus, after the diagnosed by the hospital, the tumor size didn’t decrease after all.

In the end, she had to turn to operations and took the risk of getting heart failure in her intestine removal operation. Anyway, the operation was a successful one. Part of her intestine was removed. And because of that, she couldn’t shit through her rectum. Instead, she had to ‘shit’ into a small bag hanging outside her waist with a tube attached to her intestine and every time the bag was full, her daughter had to pour the ‘content’ inside away.

She suffered a lot after the operation. She couldn’t eat much. In the end, she got very thin after the operation. Not good at all. And because she couldn’t bath and she seldom clean herself, her operation wound got infected. I personally helped her to cleaned the infection before because at that time the ‘nanah’ burst, I was the only one around her. It was really disgusting to see the 'nanah' fluid flowing from the infection area, but it was nothing compard to the pain Ah Kim was suffering. It was the least I could do to offer help. I did a lousy job back then. So, she was sent to the hospital for more professional cleaning later.

Her recovery from the operation had a lot of ups and downs. There would be some period she could stand up, able to walk slowly and most importantly, grew some flesh. But, there would be also times when she couldn’t stand up at all, had to lie on the bed whole day and worst, got very thin.


(from the left: my cousin sister, me, Ah Kim. Photo was taken a few days before I came to UTP. Ah Kim was already very thin during that time. )

The cancer never got away. A few months after the operation, her pain came back. Hospital confirmed that the cancer spread before the operation. She had to try on chemotherapy. And as all the chemo patients, she suffered a lot. Really a lot. I’ve seen it with my own eyes. She got even thinner during her chemotherapy, suffering from pains along the whole body, suffering from tiredness……..

However, chemotherapy also turned out to be futile. Then, my mother arrange more Qi-gong sessions for her, hoping that it helped a bit. It did helped a bit, I believed, in the psychological way perhaps. To reduce the pain caused by the cancer itself, she took a lot of painkillers and drugs. And when the cancer spread to her bones, painkillers couldn’t work anymore. Doctor prescribed radiotherapy for her, not to cure, but just to control the pain. Taiping Hospital didn’t have the machines for radiotherapy. The nearest is the hospital in Penang. Ah Kim’s family have no cars to fetch her to Penang. My parents have to use their cars. What the most my parents could do was to give RM2++ to my cousin sister, Ah Kim’s daughter to bring Ah Kim to Penang Hospital by taxi every radiotherapy session. That period of time was a tough one for her family. Had to travel to and fro while she herself was sick. My cousin sister did a great job in taking care of her mother that time, carrying her mother on her back when there was no wheelchair around.
I saw her suffer a lot during her illness. It was a cruel thing that happened on her and her family. This illness not only brings pain to Ah Kim herself, but also brings burden along to her family. My parents and my KL auntie couldn’t help much except for the financial aid they could give.
The education level in my Ah Kim’s family was not that high. Her family doesn’t have the knowledge of food nutrients and personal hygiene. They don’t know what food to eat and what food not to eat for Ah Kim after her operation. Even when Ah Kim got cancer, she didn’t know what was cancer. She thought that it was some sort of worms in her stomach that cause the cancer. Anyhow, I am impressed that she was optimistic with her illness. Maybe it’s a good thing to know nothing about the seriousness of her condition. Less worries for her. Except during her last few days when she kept on saying that "she was going to die". Totally made us feel sad for hearing her saying that.

And now, she passed away. I don’t know I should feel sad or feel happy for her. It is really a suffering for her if she continues to live with the illness with her. Perhaps it will be a relief for her. Her children are all grown-ups, capable of making a living by themselves. Her relatives managed to visit her before she passed away. Her husband, my uncle, luckily came back from KL just a few hours before she passed away. Everyone who means something to her, managed to paid their last visit to her before her death. I hope there is no unfulfilled wishes for Ah Kim, and I hope that she leave this world without any pain she suffers before. In fact, my mother said in the phone that, she passed away in her sleep.

Mother said that she and Ah Kim’s family only cried a while when they found out she had passed away. Me, myself also didn’t cry when I heard that from mother on the phone. It is expected because we all are ready in mind that, Ah Kim will leave anytime as her condition was getting worse this few days lately. The last time I saw her was four days ago. She was hospitalized for stomachache.

I will miss her a lot. But I am glad that she can finally rest in peace. Hope she will be relief with her escaping her sufferings by leaving this world and have a better next life.

Recollection Of Memories

It has been two wonderful months to me. UTP life is so far so enjoyable and it is sooooooooo fun having this whole new, awesome UNI-style of life, so much so that every time I wanna update my blog, some conversation like this will happen:

"Hey, let's finish our assignments tonight in IRC....."

or

"Hey, let's play DOTA afterwards!!!"

or

"Hey, I got this new movie, you wanna watch together???"

or even maybe something like this:

"Hey, let's finish our assignments in IRC, then we play DOTA afterwards, later watch this movie la. Screw that stupid lecture tomorrow morning la. "

Okay la, usually I am the one who start all these conversations, let's don't blame this on the other goody goody students in UTP la. But, heck!! So many "programs" going on. How am I going to update my blog leh???

Anyway, it's now mid-sem break. There are still a lot of assignments, there are still a lot of DOTA and movies invitations, and there are a looooooots of upcoming tests......But, still have to update my blog also.

So, back to 12 July 2008, when I was totally new to this university. So many things had happened since then. The MAS week, the Ipoh outing, the UTP outdoor carnival, Symphony Fest, Convo Fair and so many things else......And I've met so many awesome guys and girls here at UTP.

I am not sure that words can fully describe my life here, so just let the photos do all the talking.

Okay, lame excuse for lazy to write long long, lengthy entries........

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Let's start with the Orientation Week-- Minggu Aluan Siswa(MAS).....


MAS :


This is Jared, one of our facilitators during MAS.


Michael aka Ning Jian from Sarawak. Damn experience in clubbing.


Hung Cheik, table tennis state player. Damn good at singing and music as well.


Ivan, from darklord901.blogspot.com ( my hair looked so strange that time b'cuz I haven't start to use wax)
P/S: That's not true, I'm not that short....


Yen Hua, SUKMA swimmer


Zac, South African. Currently enjoying his life here in Malaysia


My roommate and Zac, in batik...


Wai Chun and I....


Ming Xian, my Guardian Angel during MAS....


Me with BIG Michelle.....


Me with small michelle....


Yong Bao and I...


That's Michael and...... Errr......I don't know who's that ugly guy beside him.......


Ella and I......


Kanwisa, from Thailand as well as one of Hung Chiek's dream girls in UTP....


That's ME!! Camwhoring in front of the toilet mirror b'cuz first time wearing a RM70 Baju Batik!!


Group photo with Kamran, one of our facilitators during MAS....


Me, trying to act funny when taking group photo in the toilet......


Same group of people, again, in the same toilet, again and me, trying to do the James Bonds' pose....


Group photo with the Thai Students...


Okay, that's what we called 'FAKE' !!


The "Mummies", one of the games we played during our MAS Moral 'Gaming' Session....


The Star of Fingers, UTP July '08 intake students punya Fingers......


A very cute golden hair kiddo, in the Chancellor Hall.....


Group photo with the Sudan students....

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Let's move on to the Outdoor Carnival.....

Outdoor Carnival :


Promotion poster....


More promotion posters....


Horse, eating UTP grass......


It's super rare to see Pizza Hut in UTP lah......


That's why we cannot let go this rare opportunity. Straight away we order pizzas to eat liao!!


Wai Chun eating pizza.....


Edmund eating pizza.....


Michael eating pizza.....


Andy eating pizza.....


Me eating pizza.....


Yong Bao eating pizza......OMG, his mouth damn BIG lah!!!!


Believe it or not, they have jet skiing, IN UTP!!


It's not Hari Sukan lah, bro.....


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Let's have a commercial break. Took these photos of models in a fashion show when we went outing to Ipoh Parade...

Ipoh Parade Outing Commercial Break :


hot.....


handsome.....


hot.....


handsome.....


hot......


handsome........


hot......


handsome.......no la, no la, I'm not in the model show, just saja-saja want to post my photo nia.....

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Enough of the eye candy, back to UTP.....

Symphony Fest :


My ticket to the Fest.....


The one and only Grand Piano in UTP......


UTP Chinese Orchestra


The Indian Traditional Musical Band....


The Malay Singer......


The saxophonist......


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Birthday In UTP :


Emo Hung Chiek on the way to cafeteria.....


Segri and I, she has the same birthday as me.


Wan Lin and I......


Ritchie, Michael and I......


Bel and I......


Michelle and I......


Bel, eating chips.....


Hung Chiek and I. Surprised that still can see Michelle's head at our back. She must be standing on a stool.....


Jonathan and I......


Group photo with friends.....


Super-duper BIG group photo with friends.......


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Convo Fair/ UTP 'Pasar Malam' :


UTP convo fair banner....


Fireworks that night......


UTP ROBOCON team....


Some of the medals UTP had won.....


Food stalls.....


Thai dance. Reminds me of the Song: 'Sayang, sayang.....'


Me eating food. Seems like going malam like that.....

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I have a lot of pics but of course, it's impossible to post them all. And that's not the end of it. There are a lot more cool cool events that were held in UTP, but stupid me, go and 'accidentally' drop my 'sayang sayang' camera, which cost me RM80 (phew, luckily it's RM80 nia!!) and cause me cannot take photo for one month (miss the chance to take a lot of good photos lah!!).

Anyway, UTP is really a fun place to study. Not regretting choosing to come here in the first place.

And to cut this short, I am starting to enjoy my life in UTP liao.

Super-Duper Late Update about My UTP Life

After 3 months and 27 days from 16 April 2008, the date I finished my EDUCAMP interview, I am now a student again....

And this means that I'm back to UTP, this time not for interview, but it's for experiencing the life as a university student. I will not say that I come to UTP is just for studying. Of course, that's
the kononnya main pupose lah, but here at UTP , is too much about life experience and studying has eventually became just one minor thing in our student life at UTP.

So, back to UTP. Well , not so much differences comparing to the time when I went for EDUCAMP.

I am back into this freaking spooky corridor in our dorm again......



I am back into this freaking awesome Chancellor Hall again............



And I am back into this freaking magnificent UTP Library again............................




And what I can say about my life at UTP during this three weeks is so far so good.

And in fact, I quite enjoy the life there.

And now, I am very tired to elaborate on this post. Later only upload the photos.......


And, good night, Ryan.......






Sweet Dreams...... : )

Bad Name for a Sports Cafe

I don't know since when Jalan Tupai, Taiping has a new sports cafe.



For a small town like Taping, I really wonder how can a sports cafe survive?

Anyway, I am not interested about whether it will survive or not....


What intrigues me is the name of the cafe......Guess what's the name?



It's.......




LP Sports Cafe !!!

Lol, what a name.....

But as you can see, the cafe is offering some jobs.

If the tauké is having problem finding people to work in the cafe just because of the plain+unattractive=cannot catch people's attention banner,

then this is my suggestion to solve the problem:




Want to go LP Sports Cafe or not??